Today I am starting to feel like shit again. Yesterday and the day before I felt fantastic (in comparison to how I have been feeling for the past 5 months, but obviously still below par). Could this be a pattern showing that the Methotrexate (MTX) is...WORKING?!
Allow me to demonstrate the pattern that I have been subtly noticing over the past few weeks:
I can’t help but feel excited; like I’m 16 and about to take my driver’s test. I might be able to drive forever, or I might fail and have to start over. It makes me excited for Sundays!
Sunday used to always be my favorite day of the week. Sunday Funday! Apparently some people caught on, but I take full credit for the invention. Sunday used to be a day of relaxation, enjoying the weather, a bottomless cup of coffee, a few mimosas, and nowhere to be. Although I plan to resume my Sunday Funday ASAP; for now I will be eagerly looking forward to sticking that needle in my leg!
The light at the end of the tunnel seems closer into view, but when I think of it I get a paralyzing fear that I’m wrong.
Hopes and prayers that this is the one. That this is really happening. My highest hope for my visit to the Mayo Clinic, and with the doctor at Rheumatology Consultants PA, is that they tell me that I’m doing everything right. That I already have 9 weeks under my belt.
Here's hopin'!
M
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