Sunday, August 26, 2012

Another Overdue Update...

So, apparently I like to post in 3-4 month intervals.  Sorry.  

When I reviewed my last post, I couldn't believe that I thought that was a whirlwind.  Things have been tough.  

Just a week and a half after my last post, we very suddenly and unexpectedly had to say "goodbye" to our sweet little Pronto Puppy.  Just days before his doctors had said that he was doing incredibly, and that he should be with us for years to come.  Unfortunately though, he had a blood clot that took him from us far too soon.  

Almost four months have gone by and I miss him every minute.  More than anything though, I am grateful to have had him in my life.  Pronto made my heart so full of love and joy.  He makes me smile every day, even when I'm wiping away tears.  He has my heart, and always will.

The day after having to say goodbye to Pronto, our house sold.  It sold in 5 days.  Warp speed ahead.  

I think that the combination of losing our boy, selling our house the next day, moving out 3 weeks later and moving into a yucky rental, moving out of said yucky rental after 3 weeks and moving into my in-laws house was a little too much for me to handle.  

Needless to say, I flared up.  I haven't been sick since I was really sick about a year and a half ago.  I think that I was so terrified that I would get as bad as I once was, that it just made it worse.  It was awful.  Thankfully, about a month and a half later, I can feel myself slowly coming out of it.  I think that the emotional impact has been worse than the pain.  The fear of returning to that place has been really hard to work through.  

I don't like to admit when I'm not feeling well (partly because the denial [literally] makes me feel better) but when it's been weeks, I think that I owe it to my friends and family to fill them in.  It also can only help when people understand why I may have to skip a get together, sit the whole time, or go home early.  

Rosie and I have been taking a couple little walks each day, keeping my body moving.  Little by little I'm getting back to where I'd like to be.  I have also been having fun and keeping very busy with my new blog, The Crafty Collaborative.  

One thing that reappeared during this flare were my Gottron's Papules.  Just a tiny bit, but they're there.  I haven't had them since I have been posting here, so here's a look.

Can you find them?  

 Here they are!  Just a tiny little cluster of flat bumps on the lower part of my middle finger.  
This little spot is always sort of "there," but not always raised like it is now.  

With the return of my Gottron's Papules, I was concerned that it was my Myositis that was flaring up.  I have felt weakness in my arms and legs, but I also have pain in those places which could indicate that it's the Fibro flaring and not the DM.  

I had a visit with my Rheumatologist and routine bloodwork done and although my C-Reactive Protein was slightly elevated, which is showing some inflammation, my other counts looked okay.  To translate, it looks like the flare is primarily my Fibromyalgia, and not DM.  Phew!!  We'll check again in October to see if there have been any changes and do an MRI if necessary.  The best thing that I can do for myself now is work to keep my spirits up.  Enter house...

We have finally gotten started building our new house!  They dug the hole this past Friday.  We are a little behind schedule, but have officially started down the road to getting home.  Hoping that this exciting time can help me feel a little more upbeat. 

That's all for now.  My heart continues to heal, and I thank God for my wonderful little family every day.  I will give an update after my October appointment.  Hopefully I will be feeling great!

All my best,
My sweet boy.

I wanted to also share a book that I am reading.  It was recommended to me by the Grief Counselor at the University Veterinary Clinic.  Although it had my crying on the first page, I can already tell that it will be a special part of my healing process.  I wanted to share it with anyone who has lost a special pet, or is just a lover of animals.