Hello, hello! It’s April, 2012 and the past 3 months have been a whirlwind!
When I last posted, I had just learned that a safer drug called Plaquinel wasn’t going to work for me, and therefore had to switch back to Methotrexate (MTX). It’s been almost 3 months and I have been going back and forth, as to how much I am freaking out about it based on the day. You might recall that we decided to lower my full dosage in the attempt to see if I could handle going off of the drug entirely for at least a year if we wanted to try to have a baby.
So yes, I have been freaking out. Example: While blow drying my hair and my arms feel tired. Instead of simply thinking, “I should let Dr. Grandits know.” I fast forward to “OMG, I can never have kids!” I am then calling Dr. Grandits to tell her that I need an MRI.
Dr. Grandits tells me to calm down and head in for my regular lab appointment.
I did have my labs done last week, however had already made the decision to go back to my full dosage of MTX. My arms have been achey, and I have had Gottron’s Papules reappearing on my hands. There is no use playing around with the drug that is keeping me healthy when we’re not ready to have a baby right this minute anyway. I still have a lot of acclimating to do as it is. I do need to calm down. So, back to my full dose of MTX. I never thought I would feel this way, but I am so relieved. There is nothing scarier to me than going back to where I was just one year ago.
Other than my medication drama, I have been feeling pretty good. I still have good days and no-so-good days. Hopefully the symptoms that started to creep back will soon subside.
The topic of having a baby is still one that weighs heavily on my mind. I think about it probably 100 times a day in some way, shape or form. I worry about not being able to get off MTX for long enough to have a baby. What if I do get pregnant, but then my disease flares up after they’re born and I can’t take care of the baby? What if since I’m “sick” that maybe I’m not meant to pass on my genes?
A couple of weeks ago, one of my doctors gave me the name of a Reproductive Specialist who often deals with patients in similar situations. Although we are still a few years out from being ready to have kids, my doctor thought that speaking with the specialist might help ease my mind with some good, hard facts. I agree.
I am still relatively new to life with DM and Fibro. A lot could change in the next few years, and there’s no sense worrying about things that I have no control over, or no idea really, how they will be. Only problem is that I can’t help it. I am a great worrier. So, expect to hear about that appointment in the future!
So, what else has been going on?
2012 started out feeling less than exciting. For the first time since this whole diagnosis situation I suddenly... had nothing going on. I was bored. My doctor appointments were beginning to get more spaced out. It was the season of hibernation for most of my friends and family. I was SO bored. A little depressed, really. Thinking, “Is this my life now?”
I spent a lot of time staring into my computer screen looking for entertainment. Actually, this is where life picks up. Enter the new excitement, a new blog! But this blog isn’t like any other blog you’ve read! WE will be launching our new site in May! That’s all I’m going to say for now! I am SO excited - Stay tuned!!
It just feels really great to be a part of something. I love having a creative outlet and feeling like I’m using my skills again. I think that I was definitely ready to take on a new project!
One new project? How about 3...
A week before this past Christmas, Brad and I put an offer in on a lovely, wooded one acre lot near our current home. It was a short sale, and after 4 months we’re land owners! It’s the spot that we’ll build our next home on! So now it’s go time! Hurry up and get our house on the market by May 1st! This is an instance where not having a job is great - I can pack, rest, pack, rest, and pack some more! Very exciting and much to do!
Before the house craziness got into full swing, Brad and I did get to sneak away for a nice weekend in Cape Coral, Florida to visit my in-laws. We had such a nice time; gorgeous weather, and great company! I am very happy to report this, since many of our friends and family have been asking us if we have had a chance to get away and relax!
One of the happiest pieces of news that I have to report is that my little Pronto Puppy has been doing fantastic! His liver is functioning at a normal level and he has been feeling great! We did switch to some new medicine to help him absorb his B12 and blood proteins. I love, love, love the U of M Veterinary Hospital. His doctors are so amazing!
Both Pronto and Rosie had some teeth pulled in March due to periodontal disease. They might look like little hillbillies, but are feeling great after ditching those sore teeth! Don’t worry, they never chew their food anyway! Haaha!
So that is the news in the Holzinger house! Good news all around! I am so thankful.
Thank you for your continuing thoughts and prayers. Thank you to all of my wonderful friends and family who are so sweetly adjusting with me to this new version of me. I love you all so much.
Maren
